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2017 Champneys Belgian Grand Prix
The summer break is nearly over, but before the drivers return to racing in Belgium, they will spend a weekend at a luxury Spa, relaxing with various motor racing themed treatments.
The source of the treatments involves the drivers having various pins being stuck into their hairs, in a form of hair related acupuncture. They then move onto the sauna, which will calm the drivers after taking their red water baths to soothe the pain of the previous treatment. They then walk straight to the next set of rooms, where their recently pinned hairs will be combed and given a new fresh style.
After leaving the Combing Room, the drivers will proceed to the Shore View room, where they can take a poo hon the toilet if necessary, with drivers this year able to empty their bowel at nearly full pace, and at over 300 kph.
After the drivers have relieved themselves, their faecal matter will be collected to form a marshland fen, cos why not, and they can go back to the next treatment, which involves being stabbed a lot. Then if the treatment over runs slightly, they'll have to make the long run back to the Bus Stop to catch the last bus home.
Forgive me, this is terrible.
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