We've reached that time of the year where Formula One has landed on American soil. North American-soil. Because luckily for Sergio Perez, we are not in the United States of America, but in Canada. Home of maple leafs, Drake, ice hockey, Drake, maple syrup, Drake, mounties, unconditional hospitality, Aubrey Graham, Degrassi, poutine, countless American refugees who are sick of their own country, a probably unhealthy fascination with professional wrestling, the 6ix, Freddie Ljungberg's alias known as Jacques Villeneuve and Drake. And it's a hometown-race for Canada's very own Lance Stroll! And seeing how the last hometown boy in Jacques Villeneuve drove like even a bigger nutjob as usual every time we've reached Montreal.....Well, I'm sure everything will go alright.
What it does not have is BACON. CANADA DOES NOT HAVE BACON. THEIR BACON SUCKS. THEIR BACON CAN GO F-
Bacon is overrated guys.
The Grand Prix du Canada almost was over before it even got started with Lewis Hamilton having trouble getting over the disappointment that Montreal is not a smaller part of Toronto, the only city that matters in Canada. I feel his pain. Why won't we do a race in Toronto? Post-race podium-interview held by the 6ix god himself, Drake, oh man, oh man.
Anyway, despite what Barney Stinson told you, Canada is awesome. Montreal usually is awesome. And despite the fact that I find it weird that a bunch of faux-Frenchies are singing God Save The Queen during its anthem, the race at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve usually is awesome too. So expect people to screw up. That Wall of Champions is probably going to get rammed so hard, the people of Montreal will mistake it for Vince McMahon's nose after he screwed Bret Hart at the Montreal Screwjob in 1997. Who will be screwed at Montreal in 2017 though is most likely, definitely, without a doubt, Fernando Alonso. Imagine being that talented and having to deal with McLaren-Honda's screwups.
Talk about screw-ups, meet Lance Stroll. He's young, he's rich, but he's young, but still people expected much more. Canada is the perfect place to find great success in smashing into lots of cars, so watch this space. They actually speak French in Montreal. So here's the French translation from a special guest writer, a true French-Canadian.