Oh god. I'm going to force myself to read it if it kills me. so far it's like he's trying to be eloquent and come up with clever anecdotes, but his poor grammar and typos mixed with a lack of punctuation and sentence structure make it exceedingly difficult. Here's some quotes direct from this "Gods" mouth. or, y'know, fingers I guess. "God-made Universe beaty" ...Really? Did he now? I've heard of this beaty thing, always wondered where it came from.
"From last flat demand of narrow and twisty tracks in-game including springs." ...HUH?! :/ "Their aim was so: to count, or to ascertain in experimental way, how
mad speed can they permit themselves during passing certain turn. précised" ....Ah, good old précised. I love being précised. "So, in "dirt" gaming internal complexity of different factors
simultaneous count and different type actions' synthesis producing
occurred as if pushed outwards and became doomed to freeze in the form
of external track complexity." ...Seriously, what the hell is this man saying? "The absence of the power slide in Fake Rally is a simple fact" ...Yeah, sure it is... "[I] finished in top list of June championship using Escort Mk II." ...Alright, maybe I don't pay attention, but isn't the Escort new? "If you turn it a little before mortal handbrake stop and, God save, also throttle a little, invisible hand will catch your machine and begin to twirl it in absurd manner" ...I love the phrase mortal handbrake stop. God Save. B) "For passing entire long stage in such way you must be possessed with
extreme precise carefulness and exactness, usually peculiar to girls or,
maybe, [to boys who like boys - so, for whom was it made? (subjective)]" So, I think he's saying everyone that finishes a stage is either A. A woman, or B. Gay. :D But then he uses peculiar instead of particular... So, maybe you can't be gay, or a woman, or a gay woman. That'll make it freak out. "dear friends" HAHAHAHAHA. No. "and the slightest attempt of counteraction is being punishable with head screw off." :p A certain Full Metal Jacket quote springs to mind. "And after produced by this engine furious shove it float by invisible
water surface, no matter also, do you push brake or handbrake! These
losers cannot understand that if really the same tyres produce such
rocket shove, they MUST also stop it, if they accepted perpendicular or
even backward direction and also now work for car moving there!" Alright seriously now, I HATE the furious shove it float by invisible water surface. :# "Can You Really Swallow It Without Become A Little Crazy?" Apparently you can't "Dirtists likes to demonstrate snobbery regarding to official WRC game
series, and being asked about the reasons for it, instead of
less-glamour picture, they tell about such things like "I get first place from first attempt". I like the term Dirtists. We're a cult now. "if set AI to 10th or 9th level, even for me, who established in that
game world records, it would be sometimes not so easy to win virtual
Loeb after a range of attempts." HAHAHAHAHA (I'm paraphrasing here.) He goes on to talk about flashbacks and complaining about why they're not in the game wile RBR is so much better and doesn't let you restart. Irony? I do believe so. "Inside a Black Hole
Yes, some things are simply ridiculous, like "advanced startup" or "car setup at service area"." I didn't realize that! I always wondered what the inside of a black hole looked like. "About last I can only tell, that I found simple fact: turning gears
ratio to maximum "long" value you improve your results at ANY stage and
with ANY car, but corresponding profit is so insignificant, that it’s
not worth to kill time for such "tuning"" That's a useless thing to point out then. That's how tuning works. "First of all, they invented a new type of game world, namely, gaming inside a black hole." Scott Manley should JUMP on this game, I'm sure he'd be interested now. (Paraphrasing) Apparently as mentioned above, DR is literally INSIDE a black hole and the tracks are actually tunnels with 3D printings on the walls. "Scarps and even the simple column in hairpin center will also attract
you with force, in spurts rising to infinity after invisible line
crossing." I knew there was a reason I kept sliding off the track when I was going to fast! The Gravitational pull is responsible! (Typical race driver) "So, so on." So, so useless. This is not a complete sentence. (Paraphrasing) Someone showed a DR vs. IRL Greece stage and I guess there's more rocks and things in DR? He cites things such as "What a safety barrier," "Why are the road boards so clean, like swept," ...I'm sorry, what the hell is a road board? "exciting is their idea to make road boards at some tracks sharp like knife" ...."we must suppose that that all was "realistic"" :| "Our Little Hardcore Toys." "Our Little Sex Shop?" ;) "But, so, it’s not all," God. Sentence structure is insane in Italy. (trying to keep equipoise at high speed) ...It's weird to me that he knows words like "equipoise" but not simple grammar or paragraph structure. Even weirder that he actually used it correctly. "You can allegedly
touch an idiotic staff member, staying like a ram in half-meter also
near track board and absolutely not trying to evade from rushing bolide."...There's the road boards again. I really wish I could understand what this guy was trying to say. From "bolide" I'm assuming he's Italian. (Paraphrasing) I think at this point he's moved on to a new topic but he's still about the reset, road boards, and black holes. At this point I'd like to apologize for the long post. I'm now about 2/3 of the way through. "Not surprising is the fact, that in Codemasters' game all upper rating places are always being occupied with cheaters – it’s the usual story" ...Irony... "But if at their forum you'll ask questions about where these more than
strange things origin from, you will be very soon banned forever, and
all your posts, including concerning other games, deleted from the
forum." .... I'm about 99% certain that's never happened. (Paraphrasing) something about cheaters calling out other cheaters? ...I think? "is it really all OK with the head of those who invented all this?" is it really all OK with you're head? "But, in the same time, what about those, who eat it, who play this game
day and night?
I do not want to insult anybody, but I can only presuppose, that they
simply forgot themselves in a game, which gradually acquired
algolagnical (sadism-masochistic) nature." That's right. I get off playing this game because I hate myself. ...I'm a sad, sad, sick man. "Generally, present day social system force people not to find in
external world somewhat creative harmony and beauty, but rathe,
conversely, produce self-affirmation in forced negation of all concrete.
I have no talent for playing RBR or even poor WRC 1-4 games - but
instead of creative abilities' development I'll lick "dirt" tracks up to
infinity, lay best railway between obstacles - and at the end I'll feel
myself a winner, no matter if I was really fast or not." ...What? "It keeps a person unsatisfied and forces him to continue self-torture." I'm still a sick man. "Where From These Legs Outgrow?" Wow. This man TRULY has a way with words. :D What the hell? (Paraphrasing) Okay, from here he goes on to talk about a social disorder bred from youth based on the classroom where from pre-adolescence children are spoon fed information (Or misinformation?) and are expected to remember the information without questioning it, or understanding how the equations/formulae work. I actually agree with him on this point, but to a much different purpose and significantly more important than a $60 video game whose main purpose is to, for lack of a better term, is to waste time. (Paraphrasing) I think he's talking about how the modern life is so dull and drab and video games are our escape from the dystopian reality. Sure, I'll buy that. Then he goes on to say that CM had a chance to do that, but failed, so therefore they're masochists or something. It's actually tugging at my heart strings reading this. "Good Bye, Fake Rally!
But now we can say "Good bye, Fake Rally" with a light heart, because
just now we can greet TRUE RALLY GAME. WRC 5 has just been released." :D "It has quite poor picture, but." ....But. But... What? What is it? What else did you have to say? PLEASE ANSWER ME! "Firstly mentioned people already formed a sect of Saint Dirt Witnesses
lauds their idol at forums, but also abuse with worst words hundred
times better games." ...I quite like the sound of a sect of Saint Dirt Lauderday Witnesses, with a steelbook case being held on a pedestal :D We're all cultists here... no wait, it's not a cult, it's a movement. Final mentions. He mentions track licking and sucking, which when I picture in my mind I giggle about. :D He edited the post 3 times. I cant even yell 3 enough. Here's a fun reply. Oh god, I'm dying here. 5660 words? Awesome.
This deserves either an award for satire, or an intervention to get you back on your meds.
It's a game.
So in your little world, being completely out of your mind is making observations based off of an existing model?
No, but posting something this long, in this style, using those kinds
of phrases makes the writer sound like a lunatic. I fully expected it
to end with "Further MORE... Using the New York Times crossword's
3-across answer on September 25, 2009 as a one-time pad, it's OBVIOUS
that CODEMASTERS is a cypher for ILLUMINATI"
If you can't recognize why the above 5,660 word rant comes across like the ravings of a lunatic... Well, you have my pity.