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2017 Real Spanish Grand Prix in Barcelona

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We're racing in Catalunya AND THAT IS STILL SPAIN PEOPLE, don't talk about your independence until you've decided you've grown a pair.

A totally, non-political race-thread about a totally normal race on a totally normal track.

Real Madrid are in the Champions League-final. And Fernando Alonso, who is a Real Madrid-fan (RELEVANCE), will be hoping that his luck will be somewhat similar to the 11-time Champions League-winners in what is an absymal season for the double-World Champion. The man from Oviedo will be enjoying the sea of blue flags in the crowd, which might cause him to day-dream and think back of better days when he was still winning races, championships even in the light-blue Mild Seven Renault. Just like the livery of his waste of a McLaren though, his prospects of F1-successes in the immediate future are mostly pitch-black.

While Alonso will be mostly counting his days to the only opportunity to escape this Anglo-Japanese hellhole in the Indy 500, the fight for the championship has taken an interesting turn. Last year, we all had to play along with Mercedes' conjured up stress and fabricated drama, as they dominated the field. Now, this has been replaced by actual stress and actual drama. Faced with the prospect of competition that's not in-house for a change, Mercedes talked quite openly about the possibility of demoting one of its drivers (Bottas) to become the second driver (Bottas) in support for the main driver's (Hamilton) bid for the WDC (seriously, this is what they brought him in for in the first place) and after Valtteri Bottas bottled a pole-position at the Bahrain (sponsored by Rose Water, much better than Champagne) Grand Prix to finish a bleak 3rd (this is so unessential, these little additions in brackets), it seemed easy to decipher who the Mercedes-brass were alluding to (Wehrlein did good at that GP though. Also BOTTAS.). But then, Bottas did the impossible and actually responded under major pressure by switching it around at the For Our Glorious Leader Vladimir Putin Russian Grand Prix, starting from 3rd, but grabbing his first win in Formula One.

So Bottas is still in the game. Leading the game is Sebastian Vettel in his Ferrari. Chasing the game as his nearest challenger is Lewis Hamilton, who was so slow in Russia, he looked like the second driver. I don't think that has ever happened to him. So he'll probably bounce back in Spain. Or not. I don't really care, IT WAS A YEAR AGO THAT YOUNG MAD MAX VERSTAPPEN MADE HIS RED BULL RACING DEBUT AFTER KICKING OUT DANI torpedo KVYAT AND HE IMMEDIATELY WON THE RACE! THAT WAS FUCKING EPIC! THAT WA-

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*siesta time*

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*listen mate come back in 1 hour*


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




*where are the knives*

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*because MAX VERSTAPPEN IS GOING TO HAVE TO SLICE THROUGH THE THROATS OF EVERYBODY RELATED TO MERCEDES AND FERRAR-i mean the field to have any sort of a chance at winning this race again. Interesting story at Red Bull. Something with a new chassis and a new engine, so if Red Bull is still not massively quicker than the factory Renault that only Hulkenberg seems to perform in because Jolyon Palmer is a modern day Pedro Diniz with the personality of a pre-Kimi Raikkonen Sauber-car with a Supertec-engine, then Red Bull and through proxy Adrian Newey has SCREWED IT UP WITH THE CHASSIS. NEWEY FOUND OUT AS A FRAUD COMIFRMED? ILLUMINATI DOES NOT WANT RED BULL TO WIN!>!!?!??


How many days until free practice? One. And that is the same amount as the amount per day of Honda-employees that will be taking their own life through ancient Japanese ritual harakiri as long as they can't deliver glory to the all great and powerful Fernando Alonso.

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tldr                                                                                                                  

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Lol

https://twitter.com/AlexCoatesy/status/862637838902362112
https://twitter.com/redbullracing/status/862635902614605825

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mike96 said:

tldr                                                                                                                  


*clicks ban-button*


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Alonso is so completely done with McLaren-Honda that he left the circuit to play tennis and posted all that on Instagram before the session had even ended.

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Absolute farce. It's been 3 years now and STILL Honda can't make a single lap.

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2018 can't come quick enough for Honda so they can get more data input from Sauber and hopefully get a more reliable engine.

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Not sure that's going to help, if they haven't got enough data after 3 years of work then what hope is there..... 

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Having engines in the Sauber isn't going to help enough to see them all of a sudden become competitive. Sure there will be twice the data, but it's not like Sauber is anywhere near the top of development or competition. Honda has failed enough in three years that they should have enough data to know what's wrong and fix it, they haven't, having two more engines failing every weekend probably won't help much. 

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https://www.hasmclarenbrokendown.com/

You know you messed up when not even a website wants to make fun of you anymore.


A website about McLaren breaking down, has broken down.


Poetic.

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If Kvyat and Palmer are still F1-drivers by this time next season, I'd be so surprised.

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If Alonso gets that car into Q3 then they should just give him the drivers championship. 

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Hughesy said:

If Alonso gets that car into Q3 then they should just give him the drivers championship. 


Alonso 2017 WDC confirmed!

His engine will still C4 itself tomorrow though :(

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Yep where's his trophy, he deserves it. Makes me so sad that he isn't fighting for wins. I'm not even a fan of his, but he's the most talented driver on the grid imo. 

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Hughesy said:

Yep where's his trophy, he deserves it. Makes me so sad that he isn't fighting for wins. I'm not even a fan of his, but he's the most talented driver on the grid imo. 


Agreed man, I'm really looking forward to the Indy 500 seeing as how he's gonna finally be in a competitive Honda lol.

I have a feeling I'm gonna be proved wrong abot his engine going bang tomorrow. It'll probably happen now in Q3 :D

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Messy start, sad for Max and also Alonso trying some off road racing.... 

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Hughesy said:

Messy start, sad for Max and also Alonso trying some off road racing.... 


He must have seen a sign say Indy this way lol

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Hamilton sounds out of breath over the radio, haven't heard that from an F1 driver since forever. Why haven't they brought Hamilton in, he's losing so much time. 

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This strategy doesn't make sense.... 

Also Hamilton could get a penalty for not going around the bollard. If they do give him one, they will effectively ending the race early and ruining the show. 

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Hughesy said:

This strategy doesn't make sense.... 

Also Hamilton could get a penalty for not going around the bollard. If they do give him one, they will effectively ending the race early and ruining the show. 


If they were to penalise Hamilton, then they should give the same penalty to Vettel for forcing another driver off track. That way no show ruined ;)

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Oh I agree, but that is the rule. Thankfully they are letting people race without penalties ruining the race, it was the same in GP3 and F2 earlier. I still don't understand the Mercedes strategy, no way he can he last this long on softs.....

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Hughesy said:

Oh I agree, but that is the rule. Thankfully they are letting people race without penalties ruining the race, it was the same in GP3 and F2 earlier. I still don't understand the Mercedes strategy, no way he can he last this long on softs.....


I've got a feeling Merc are gonna get Hamilton to bolt, have Vettel chase and wear down his tyres faster. Then Merc pit for another set of softs before the end and run down Vettel again :p The only way Ferrari could hold him off would be to pit Vettel again.

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