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The Worst Things Jeff Says to You

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Thought we could share the voice lines from Jeff -or anyone else - that really grind our gears.

Upon failing the quali practice, I simply hate it when he says "Well..."

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As it starts to rain or dry out "The best tyre choice is an interesting one". No Jeff, it's not an interesting question it's a critical race decision.  We're not sat there with a glass of port in front of a fire place debating the merits of rubber types.

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Actually jeff doesn't say anything that bad, but the commentators sometimes say stupid things. As a female driver you are very often addressed as "he".

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So far, I think the most annoying thing Jeff says was in every start: "After the points finish last weekend, let's aim for another Top 10 finish" Bloody hell, I'm a front-runner car, I fight for wins, and you expect only a P10 for me? And not to mention this happens more or less every race... Say something more for once please.

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After getting into Q2 and 15th in the starting grid with my teammate in 20th.

"Tough luck there, it's not quite where we wanted to be in qualifying."

Jeff, we're not Brawn GP, this is my first season bro (almost wanna break his neck lol).

Edited by DRTApophis
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Lap 33/34

Jeff: 'A new strategy is available on your MFD.'

But the worst one is: 'We're changing your strategy, we have to put you on new tyres.' No Jeff, you don't. Thanks to you I now have to actually remember when I was supposed to pit and manually change the tyre selection again.

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Jeff: you’re running low on fuel. Box within 2 laps. 
me: I’m sitting in the garage...

jeff: remember, if you don’t use the pit assist you’ll need to be careful when entering the pits. 
me: yes Jeff. This is my 3rd season. 
 

jeff (on warm up lap): no rain forecast. 
me: I know. Radar is clear, and there’s a bright blue sky with zero clouds. 

 

im sure there’s others but can’t think right now 

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9 minutes ago, dshepsman said:

Jeff: you’re running low on fuel. Box within 2 laps. 
me: I’m sitting in the garage...

jeff: remember, if you don’t use the pit assist you’ll need to be careful when entering the pits. 
me: yes Jeff. This is my 3rd season. 
 

jeff (on warm up lap): no rain forecast. 
me: I know. Radar is clear, and there’s a bright blue sky with zero clouds. 

 

im sure there’s others but can’t think right now 

The no rain forecast always hits me the hardest.

"Radar is clear, no rain expected for the time being😉"

"Jeff, we're in the desert, you drank too much beer yesterday?"

Edited by DRTApophis

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5 hours ago, mantazzo said:

So far, I think the most annoying thing Jeff says was in every start: "After the points finish last weekend, let's aim for another Top 10 finish" Bloody hell, I'm a front-runner car, I fight for wins, and you expect only a P10 for me? And not to mention this happens more or less every race... Say something more for once please.

This is one of the worst. You won or got on the podium last weekend and he says well done on the points finish. An immersion killer.

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2 hours ago, DRTApophis said:

The no rain forecast always hits me the hardest.

"Radar is clear, no rain expected for the time being😉"

"Jeff, we're in the desert, you drank too much beer yesterday?"

I've had rain in Abu Dhabi so it's not that weird.

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6 hours ago, GnrDreagon said:

Lap 33/34

Jeff: 'A new strategy is available on your MFD.'

But the worst one is: 'We're changing your strategy, we have to put you on new tyres.' No Jeff, you don't. Thanks to you I now have to actually remember when I was supposed to pit and manually change the tyre selection again.

I don't understand why he can't just say "A new strategy [...] mediums, lap 16." It takes away the whole point of audio information if it's to only inform you of visual information.

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1 hour ago, janbonator said:

I don't understand why he can't just say "A new strategy [...] mediums, lap 16." It takes away the whole point of audio information if it's to only inform you of visual information.

This works fine. Besides saving on voice lines, I'm mostly tuning him out anyway. Him telling you there is a new strategy is efficient enough to draw your attention to the MFD. And you still have to confirm the strategy so you still have to look. I just wish he always asks me for the new strategy, not just change it on his own sometimes. "Yes Jeff, I realize I should've started on the softs instead of mediums but telling me at the race start to come in for softs and putting me on a 2 stop strategy is NOT the way to go in this race."

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12 hours ago, FTBuzzard said:

Actually jeff doesn't say anything that bad, but the commentators sometimes say stupid things.

What about Jeff telling rain is expected in around 10 to 15 minutes while being in the last lap?
What about Jeff warning you there is fuel for one lap when sitting in the garage?

Don.t you find it stupid?

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14 hours ago, RS Phil said:

What about Jeff telling rain is expected in around 10 to 15 minutes while being in the last lap?
What about Jeff warning you there is fuel for one lap when sitting in the garage?

Don.t you find it stupid?

i don't think it's stupid, because what jeff says has no effect on me.
Yes, it is strange that he says something about the tire status when you ask about the weather, but i can also deal without this info.

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Jeff “If you put it on pole, I’ll be waiting in the back of garage only wearing wellies”

 

 

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On 9/27/2020 at 5:00 AM, RS Phil said:

What about Jeff telling rain is expected in around 10 to 15 minutes while being in the last lap?
What about Jeff warning you there is fuel for one lap when sitting in the garage?

Don.t you find it stupid?

Yep had that. End of Q3 less than 30 seconds left - This rain will continue for another 10 minutes

Edited by tarrantino
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A team radio between Jeff and Kimi Raikkonen would be good to hear! 😀

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37 minutes ago, RS Phil said:

A team radio between Jeff and Kimi Raikkonen would be good to hear! 😀

Jeff: "Kimi, check you MFD for..."

Kimi: "FOR WHAT??!!

Jeff: "Ice-cream selection, Kimi."

Kimi: "Give me the steering wheel then!! Hey!! STEERING WHEEL!!!"

Jeff: "Yes Kimi, we're putting the blanket on."

Edited by DRTApophis
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5 minutes ago, losbuttcheeks said:

I hate when Jeff tells me I can't run high fuel while Im on the last lap with 3 turns to go.

To add to that you’re a lap down and in high mode with half a lap left, technically have 1 and a half laps left

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Jeff: Ok battery charge is high, lets use the overtake button more.

Me: Jeff, it's my 4th season... I've got all of the ERS upgrades from my R&D tree and there are limits set by the FIA, to prevent unfair usage. Go play with some bolts or something.

Additionally, when selecting 'Engineer quiet' on the MFD, it should play an audio file of Kimi shouting "SHUT UP I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!"

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9 hours ago, hsf said:

Jeff: Ok battery charge is high, lets use the overtake button more.

This is worst thing he says.

Edited by KGM

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On 9/27/2020 at 5:57 AM, GnrDreagon said:

This works fine. Besides saving on voice lines, I'm mostly tuning him out anyway. Him telling you there is a new strategy is efficient enough to draw your attention to the MFD. And you still have to confirm the strategy so you still have to look. I just wish he always asks me for the new strategy, not just change it on his own sometimes. "Yes Jeff, I realize I should've started on the softs instead of mediums but telling me at the race start to come in for softs and putting me on a 2 stop strategy is NOT the way to go in this race."

There are tracks on which it's very hard to start scrolling and looking at what kind of strategies Jeff is proposing, as the time window is only 30 seconds. Tracks like Monaco, Hungary and Singapore are so intense that there are parts of the track where I can't simply take my eyes off the road for a long enough time to see what's up. Many other tracks also have ~30 second sections where I find it difficult, especially when racing other cars.

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